To answer a  PSA (Public Service Announcement) for a group of very interesting women, I had to tell a really good story.  This is a true story showing several life lessons.  Set down your drinks and hold on tightly.


The ER nurses know his name.  The surgical nurses ask me how he's doing.  Let's just start there...

He's got a man cave.  I try not to know what happens in the man cave until he has all of my silverware.  He's fixing up a Camry that his brother thrashed.  They've been talking about fry oil conversions, electric cars and hydrogen cars.  What would need to be done to convert this Nasty car that is now spanking clean, but still needs much work.

I have 4 proto-adults in the house, two are quite disabled - so I run around like an idiot most days plus my full time job.  Some days, I have the attention span of a gnat on meth.  He mentions that he has an electrolysis machine.  I hear a word that means, "Electrolysis hair removal is the only method approved by the FDA for permanent hair removal."  He does not mean this.  I remember asking, "Why would you want a bald dog?"   He took a jelly jar (bonus points for shrapnel) and made something that means, "One important use of electrolysis of water is to produce hydrogen.  2 H2O(l) → 2 H2(g) + O2(g); E0 = -1.229 V"

He used soda on the lid of the jelly jar because hydrogen production will be shown by the bubbles that are produced.  He didn't believe the bubble test because it was SODA.

I'm having a very busy day off capped by making omelets for 5 people.  William comes down and asks, "Mom, can I borrow a lighter?"  Since it's Will, I do ask.  I want full credit that my brain said, "DANGER!  NO FLANGE!!"  "Why do you need a lighter?"

"I need to test something."

In a kid that isn't a beer drinker, you don't get the magic words of 911 potential out of "Hold my beer and watch this."  Since I smoke, I just hand him a lighter.  I go back to torturing eggs.

BAMFFF.  It sounded like a huge monitor got dropped from a desk.  (I've heard that sound.  It could have been the sound of a ferrari hitting a maple tree for all I know.)  It did say, "BAMMF" like it meant MOTHERFUCKER!  And, there was the tinkle of glass ...  In the hallway.

In the 1/2 second that it took me to levitate the stairs, William was standing there shell shocked and starting to giggle.  Not the healthy giggle like the dog farted.  This was the giggle that means the start of evil scientist movies.  Giggling.  He's fine.  The room is fine.  The windows are intact (hush, it's winter in Minnesota - this is important).

I get reminded that electrolysis is good for something not called a Brazilian.  Oh.  I wasn't this stupid before I had children.  Child is fine.  Computer is fine.  Keyboard is covered in water.  Water cleaned.  I go down and finish the omelete in progress.  Will cleans.  There is glass EVERYWHERE.  We pick up the big pieces.  Vacuum.  Strip his bed.  Vacuum again.  Sweep glass out of the hallway.  Will is sniggering by now and progressing as the adrenaline hits the strange places.  He ends laying on the livingroom floor guffawing like he's being tickled.  Joking about writing this up on facebook like it's a school project.  (Oh LORD, protect me from the drama shitstorm of the ex husband seeing an explosion on facebook.)  Child is fine.  Hysterical, but fine.  His last pinkeye was from getting a piece of clear plastic stuck into his cornea - I look him over as closely as I can without "BAD TOUCH".  He's fine.  I examine his room and find SIX pieces of glass embedded in the drywall.  I pull them out so glass isn't found later in bad ways.

"Mom, am I grounded?"

"No, but you will be cleaning until I'm happy again."

The next day, he tells the girlfriend that he's grounded.  He's still got a major case of the giggles whenever certain words are mentioned.  Rare words for teenagers like WATER, JELLY JAR, ELECTRONICS.  He's the captain of his school's robotics team and skipped the first few meetings.  I don't blame him.

3 days later, he's taking out the trash.  A lid to a can of cat food was on the bottom of the bag and sliced the top of his foot open badly enough to need gauze and duct tape.  (yes, duct tape. Red Duct tape with Black Dragons on it.  At least it wasn't the hot pink with tiger stripes.)  After the 30 staples across his neck and shoulders this summer, we don't need to be back in the ER for AWHILE.

So, points to remember.  Hydrogen explodes.  Don't let children play with lighters.  Don't do experiments near a computer.  Don't scare your mother.  My son can blow shit up, but gets hurt taking out the trash.  Did I miss anything?  Want to hear the stitches story?

I'm still thinking and working on this project.  I'm plugging away at my big list and feeling like not much is getting accomplished.  Just little babysteps, so I'm thinking of cutting these up into smaller bites - like maybe I could cut half of Nessie's hair?  (grin)  I did pay a couple of bills, clean up, and get some more laundry accomplished.  I'm within a good movie or two from finishing the jade blanket, and I think a black edging would be stunning and different.  Also, just about finished reworking the alpaca cowl to be longer.  Still need to do panda ears on a hat, Niki socks, gauntlets, and finish spinning the silk or the Romney, package the Lincoln and clean the alpaca.  (eek)  I'm lusting after sock yarn and petted some lovely stuff yesterday.  Realistically, I can't afford it and do have quite enough stash already.

Sadly, our water is frozen, so I'm only getting the cup of coffee that was left in the pot from before son went to work last night.  Ack.  ACKACK.  The good side is that my woodstove has had much love and attention, so the house feels wonderful.  Just sent a son to fetch coffee - WOW, that is a nice part of having room mates instead of little children!

Not much progress on the Control Journal.  I have a really nice, large leather one that had everything in it.  I wanted a "Crazy Lady Planner", but it was quite expensive.  I built most of what I wanted, but LARGE.  It was too much.  I'm not a fan of the huge binder thing.  Right now, I have a couple of notebooks that I try to keep life in.  A small book for my pocket, a notebook size for knitting stuffs.  I still don't always remember to pull them out when I'm planning a day, but they're always there to get my back.

On the podcast front, I'm very proud that I'm totally caught up with NPR news.  I've listened to 2KnitLitChicks and like it.  I'm not loving it, but I'll give them time to get rolling before I critique.  Today, I have Sticks and String to catch up on, and oooh, his accent.

Not much done today, but I will put in a quick note to stay in the habit.  "I'm proud that..."  I'm proud that I did NOT dance on the bar last week, and I'm proud that this weekend - the creepy stayed away.  There were a few moments where I was in the bathroom, and heard my name outside the door.  Yea...  Or when someone came up to me and said that they knew me but I had no idea who the person was.  Yea...


The thing in my head today is DON'T MAKE IT HARD.  Don't take some little thing and blow it up.  Don't create drama, don't look for the drama.  If you want to clean the kitchen, that might be too big a project.  For right now, just wipe the counter.  You can then put away the clean dishes OR you  might do the floor.  Just do something without making it hard.  Do that one thing that will have the most results.  If you're terminally out of coffee cups, put them in the dishwasher.  If you can't find underwear, go wash them, or better yet, go buy nice, new ones.  


I'm looking at my huge list.  Thinking what I can delegate and what can just be ignored.  It's hard, and even harder to know that I have to do this stuff on my own.  I feel like I want to stomp my feet and whine, but that's not making any progress.  I want to curl up and watch tv with someone, or find a warm bit of shade to sit with a book.  I keep telling myself that those will come when I find the bottom of the list.  Or, finish the majority of the list.  (sigh)


So, speaking of hard things, I'm going to think about why blame and casting aspersions has been bothering me.  I should know better than to let hurtful opinions get to me or to listen to the people who are negative for their own reasons.  Yet, I'm no perfect PollyAnna - when a lawyer tells you that you worry too much, yea...  Hahahaha!  So, to kill the roadblocks and be aware of the ones that might be my own creation - I'm looking at another person's project.  It looks ABSOLUTELY LOVELY.  If nothing else, go look at this art.  I'm going to swing the "Sunday Challenge #3" that went by in my facebook.  It says, "

When you blame, even yourself, you’re saying that you’re powerless."

and "Because when you take responsibility without blame or the inevitable beating up of yourself, you’re finally able to have the clarity to see what it is you can learn from all that crap."

So, if you'd like to join me in the "Own It" Homework, just message and I'll let you know what I'm owning.  Right this second, I'm owning that I have to rush because I'm late for the shower - my fault and my problem.  I'll own that I should have finished bills and laundry already - Mine, no problem.  So, any time I feel guilty or see myself casting blame or negative crap - I'll be writing it in my little pocketmod.  Hopefully, it stays pristine, but I'll be watching!!

I did well with restarting my routine.  I've done everything up to the Vitamins, and am putting off the "ready" until I have to leave for work.  WIN!

Next will be the "Control Journal".  FlyLady means it to be a huge thing centered on Mom and job and Kids, but I'm going to take it other places as well.

Step 1 is to gather your supplies.  I have a stack of post its, so that's where I'll start.  ((FlyLady has a big list - Please do go over and click around her version if you want to run ahead))  Use what you already have - 3 by 5s, notebook paper, printer paper.

(I'll jump ahead for a second and fill you in on one of the best internet things ever - The PocketMod.  You just print it, and carry it.  You'll use it and get used to using it.  Then you'll lose it and wonder how in ... did you ever get so dependent on a piece of paper!  I print mine with a month "DeadLine Plotter," an "Appointment Timesheet" if I'm going to have a crazy week, use lines or small grid for planning, and fill the rest with a "week" calendar.  Best invention ever!  Plus, you  have the entire back to unfold and write things down on.  WIN!  Go directly to Create a PocketMod)

The thing I'm trying to learn is being frustrating, so I'll be going back to basics instead.  How basic?  Did you brush your teeth?  Someone in my house still needs to be reminded about this.  So - How is your self care?

Self care is the basis for coping skills.  If your hair stinks, it doesn't matter which Axe you use.  If you allow your clothes to stay dirty, then don't be surprised when no one wants to hug you and that it doesn't matter which jeans you're wearing.

I'm grinning as I write this because this is still my super-long morning.  Up before dawn and mumbling around until I have to bundle up for the crappy job.  I'm still in jammies with scruffy teeth!  (giggle)  So, what would I be doing if I were taking good care of myself?

I set up flylady at one time to help track things.  Things that are measured will show improvement.  Self care is measured in the depth of what you care about.  So, where are you today?  Zinging and awesome or flirting with depressive levels?  Either way is fine - it's just a snapshot of who you've chosen to be right now.  You can go be someone else if you like.  Today, I get to be a lazy bum for another 10 minutes, and I'm choosing to blog about it, so stalkers bugger off!

First, I'm going to rewrite my routine.  Today, I woke to my alarm and called for the person who needs early help.  "Are you up?"  "Yes"  "Are you really up?"  "YES!"  "Are you dressed?"  "YES I AM"  "Did you brush your teeth?"  "Not yet"  (sigh)  I'm not even asking about the clean underwear and socks because I don't want to know.

The person that needs help has a routine written out to the small details.  Most people probably don't need this, but it might be helpful to have an authority reminding you to just use the good sunscreen along with the routine basics.  If nothing else, having a basic routine posted, and using it daily will be one easy thing to accomplish. It only takes 30 days to start new habits, so start a routine to make sure that you've done the things that leave you FABULOUS and ready for your day.

Homework - write yours up now.  Every morning, what do you care about within the first hour?  You can write another list of everything you'd like to accomplish (and I will), but the most important fits in the first hour.   Put the entire routine there, all the details of EVERY morning.

This is already too long, but my first hour is usually:
Alarm - one snooze allowed - ONE!
2nd alarm - actually get up and pee.
N - moving?
Medicate the dog
Coffee
Fire

Bonus points for
EAT!  Coffee creamer is not enough
Vitamins - Multi, D, Calcium and C
Yoga -
Computer (email, Rav, FB?)
Shower
Teeth
Dress to shoes

So, where are you today?  I'll write more on this theme tomorrow.  If you want to jump ahead - http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/   It's the best outline, but it can be quite overwhelming and "This doesn't apply to me"  My schedule doesn't apply to most either, but I have a woodstove and people to care for.  It's where I am at this second and is now on a green post it on my mirror.  Plus, I'm already late for the shower part (grin), so DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

Saying that I'll get back to this again.  (giggle)  The podcast project went really well, and eventually I'll post up the results.  Making me happy right now is Knit Wits, Cast On, and having NPR on tap.  I need to return the funky stuff to skullcandy and get a good set, but I'm back in cheap ones - even if they are SkullCandy.  (Yay - PURPLE!).

The huge success is that I'm finding the HEALTHY!  Yes, I'm doing it up.  Lost more than 70 pounds, taking my vitamins, off all meds, and LAUGHING!  Yes, me - bursting into giggles over my own stable of LOL cats.  I still should be doing lots of things better, but I don't have to beat myself up over it or get beaten around the head.  It's better and that's just fine.

Well, another blank page to stare at.  I came in to post a small story with the links that I want to keep.  My obese Siamese kicked over the computer and killed it dead.  Son and I worked for 4 days to reinstall an operating system, but dead is dead.  I, of course, threatened to break cat's legs almost hourly but she just showed me her butt and wanted to use the free lap space for warmth.

So, I have to start my podcast journey from the beginning of the road.  I know the ones that I want to stay with, but I'm sure there will be many that I forget.  So, I started with a search for NPR and rejoined a few of those.  Then, I went to Ravelry, because everything is on Ravelry, and the podcast junkies group has a big list of the podcasts of interest.  Some of those are podfaded, some of my favorites flashed in time like a Nova and I only saw a minor reflection of something wonderful.

This makes me want to document the research and start my own podcast.  I'd really like to read some books for Librivox, I'd really like to document what I'm designing and knitting.  I'd like a place to sell the yarn that I haven't found a wonderful use for or fallen out of love with.

So, the first that's making me happy is the Celtic Mythology Podcast.  It does have a subscribe button, and a place to listen from the website.  What a WONDERFUL treat!  The old stories told with passion and a bit too many sound effects.  They do an absolutely fabulous job with just a minor rub up against the Pagan side.  I don't want to convert to Paganism, thanks.  But, finally understanding that the stories are populated with the shadows of history told in best tall-tale fashion is a thing of absolute wonder.   There's also just something about highland music that stays under your skin until the call of the wild places has overtones of reeds, whistles and bagpipes.  I do also enjoy the idea of spending some time with men who own kilts and might actually wear one.