2 Kicks in the Ass

 I've had 2 kicks in the ass today.  My cousin Dana reminded me that I'd already told a story and that I should be writing things down.  Then, I re-discovered a favorite podcast, Dr Gemma and the CogKnitive podcast.  She does small reminders of Cognitive and Behavioral Management things.  

So, what if I start to write things out and start holding myself accountable.  Even if I put this as private, it can be a thing to add pictures.  It will mean that things have to move forward.  And it can be a place to tell those stupid stories, and set goal lists so that I don't lose them.  

So the silly story is from when I lived out in the woods.  One morning, very early,  I had my coffee in hand and was sitting near the large front window.  I'm not a morning person, so my brain doesn't click until 10 am.  Also, understand that I was very far north in the woods.  I could hear my neighbors dog's barking, but not see anyone from my yard.  I'm more likely to see bambi than a stray dog.  

This morning, I was vaguely drinking coffee and waiting for the brain to turn on when I saw a cow go by.  Random cow.  I couldn't think when the last time I'd seen a cow.  A cow that closely, it might have been 20 years ago when my Dad accidentally got the herd of cows high.  High cows.  There's a cow in my front yard.  Galloping.  I've never seen a galloping cow.  They aren't very fast.

I know that I was doubting my senses and wondering about any traumatic brain injury from the past.  A half of a cowboy goes by.  A half.  I know what I saw.  Half - a cowboy.  With lasso.  

I know I looked at my coffee wondering if my husband or kid had tried to poison me.  This is clearly a psychotic break.  A galloping cow.  A half a cowboy.  One after the other as if the moment made any sense.

The ditch out front is pretty deep.  From where I was sitting, he was clearly running up the ditch because the cow had gotten out.  I'm very ashamed at how long it took me to realize that there could have been a reasonable explanation.   That's now the measure of chaos and confusion in my life - Did a half a cowboy go by yet?  Nope, then this is something that I can deal with.