Wierd Kids

2012-01-26T09:32:00.000-06:00

It's going to be one of those mornings. So far, I've shined my sink (shuddap). I did clean the front of the dishwasher, and then the stove, and finished the counter. Then, went back to clean up the ring that my own coffee cup made. (See, it's EASY! Why isn't the goof doing it??)

Bad stuff - computer death rattles. Second "temporary" hard drive, loosing everything again. Thank goodness I changed all of the passwords to something reasonable or I'd be locked out of my own internet crap.

Hot water heater - would you just live or die already, mofo?!? I've held your hand at your bedside for a long time. Your element got changed with much soap opera drama potential, and I've looked more closely at your innards than I ever thought I'd needed to do. When I greet you in the morning with steam and scalding love, much praise is said to dog. When you breathe heavily and pause while I have shampoo in my eyes, vocabulary gets a better workout than my behind has had in a month. When you fade off to nap before I'm finished, well... That's the deal breaker right there. I do have other ways to heat water, but I am not carrying the coffee pot into the shower with me just in case the water heater shoulda had Viagra. It's time. I'm checking into places for you to fade in peace, but I'm just not that civilized.

Good stuff - Have the pieces in a shopping cart for *MY* computer. Ok, it's really going to be for daughter, but first OMG purchase in a long time. (Since the awesome carpet cleaner which has already saved bacon!)

Have the list of community ed classes and just need to decide when and what I'm doing. Yoga, Zumba or Tai Chi?

Blanket of never ending is on my lap and just about ready for some edging. Panda hat only needs ears, pockets and claws. I've moved three beginners into MAKE ALL THE THINGS, starting on two hats and a cowl. Yay! (working with Red Heart all evening - ACK)

Working on getting a better job actually has prospects. I need a kick in the back pocket, but YAY! Small progress!!

Meanwhile, now I've folding some laundry, gone over the mail, knitted a bit, blogged SOMETHING and shined the sink before 10 am. Yay, me

(PS - Awesome stuff - not everything I write is for this or shared at all. I sat down last week to do something flippant and silly about the reasons that a woman would still wear high heels in winter and fell on my face. Some old splinter came out, made of my issues, other people's issues, anxiety, fear and winter blues. Stunning part is that it came out almost whole cloth, seams, button holes and all. Good feedback led to better feedback - so I put on the Big Girl Panties and sent it to a real pro who might be kind and pat me on the head. Instead, I ended the day with a SONG in my email. DUDE, I wrote a SONG! I released it into the world and it came back a little different, a lot prettier and with a joke from the universe that still makes me giggle. So, even if procrastination is sitting behind me snickering, I WROTE A SONG!!)

2012-01-21T09:25:00.000-06:00

To answer a PSA (Public Service Announcement) for a group of very interesting women, I had to tell a really good story. This is a true story showing several life lessons. Set down your drinks and hold on tightly.

The ER nurses know his name. The surgical nurses ask me how he's doing. Let's just start there...

He's got a man cave. I try not to know what happens in the man cave until he has all of my silverware. He's fixing up a Camry that his brother thrashed. They've been talking about fry oil conversions, electric cars and hydrogen cars. What would need to be done to convert this Nasty car that is now spanking clean, but still needs much work.

I have 4 proto-adults in the house, two are quite disabled - so I run around like an idiot most days plus my full time job. Some days, I have the attention span of a gnat on meth. He mentions that he has an electrolysis machine. I hear a word that means, "Electrolysis hair removal is the only method approved by the FDA for permanent hair removal." He does not mean this. I remember asking, "Why would you want a bald dog?" He took a jelly jar (bonus points for shrapnel) and made something that means, "One important use of electrolysis of water is to produce hydrogen. 2 H2O(l) → 2 H2(g) + O2(g); E0 = -1.229 V"

He used soda on the lid of the jelly jar because hydrogen production will be shown by the bubbles that are produced. He didn't believe the bubble test because it was SODA.

I'm having a very busy day off capped by making omelets for 5 people. William comes down and asks, "Mom, can I borrow a lighter?" Since it's Will, I do ask. I want full credit that my brain said, "DANGER! NO FLANGE!!" "Why do you need a lighter?"

"I need to test something."

In a kid that isn't a beer drinker, you don't get the magic words of 911 potential out of "Hold my beer and watch this." Since I smoke, I just hand him a lighter. I go back to torturing eggs.

BAMFFF. It sounded like a huge monitor got dropped from a desk. (I've heard that sound. It could have been the sound of a ferrari hitting a maple tree for all I know.) It did say, "BAMMF" like it meant MOTHERFUCKER! And, there was the tinkle of glass ... In the hallway.

In the 1/2 second that it took me to levitate the stairs, William was standing there shell shocked and starting to giggle. Not the healthy giggle like the dog farted. This was the giggle that means the start of evil scientist movies. Giggling. He's fine. The room is fine. The windows are intact (hush, it's winter in Minnesota - this is important).

I get reminded that electrolysis is good for something not called a Brazilian. Oh. I wasn't this stupid before I had children. Child is fine. Computer is fine. Keyboard is covered in water. Water cleaned. I go down and finish the omelete in progress. Will cleans. There is glass EVERYWHERE. We pick up the big pieces. Vacuum. Strip his bed. Vacuum again. Sweep glass out of the hallway. Will is sniggering by now and progressing as the adrenaline hits the strange places. He ends laying on the livingroom floor guffawing like he's being tickled. Joking about writing this up on facebook like it's a school project. (Oh LORD, protect me from the drama shitstorm of the ex husband seeing an explosion on facebook.) Child is fine. Hysterical, but fine. His last pinkeye was from getting a piece of clear plastic stuck into his cornea - I look him over as closely as I can without "BAD TOUCH". He's fine. I examine his room and find SIX pieces of glass embedded in the drywall. I pull them out so glass isn't found later in bad ways.

"Mom, am I grounded?"

"No, but you will be cleaning until I'm happy again."

The next day, he tells the girlfriend that he's grounded. He's still got a major case of the giggles whenever certain words are mentioned. Rare words for teenagers like WATER, JELLY JAR, ELECTRONICS. He's the captain of his school's robotics team and skipped the first few meetings. I don't blame him.

3 days later, he's taking out the trash. A lid to a can of cat food was on the bottom of the bag and sliced the top of his foot open badly enough to need gauze and duct tape. (yes, duct tape. Red Duct tape with Black Dragons on it. At least it wasn't the hot pink with tiger stripes.) After the 30 staples across his neck and shoulders this summer, we don't need to be back in the ER for AWHILE.

So, points to remember. Hydrogen explodes. Don't let children play with lighters. Don't do experiments near a computer. Don't scare your mother. My son can blow shit up, but gets hurt taking out the trash. Did I miss anything? Want to hear the stitches story?

2012-01-18T08:20:00.000-06:00

I'm still thinking and working on this project. I'm plugging away at my big list and feeling like not much is getting accomplished. Just little babysteps, so I'm thinking of cutting these up into smaller bites - like maybe I could cut half of Nessie's hair? (grin) I did pay a couple of bills, clean up, and get some more laundry accomplished. I'm within a good movie or two from finishing the jade blanket, and I think a black edging would be stunning and different. Also, just about finished reworking the alpaca cowl to be longer. Still need to do panda ears on a hat, Niki socks, gauntlets, and finish spinning the silk or the Romney, package the Lincoln and clean the alpaca. (eek) I'm lusting after sock yarn and petted some lovely stuff yesterday. Realistically, I can't afford it and do have quite enough stash already.

Sadly, our water is frozen, so I'm only getting the cup of coffee that was left in the pot from before son went to work last night. Ack. ACKACK. The good side is that my woodstove has had much love and attention, so the house feels wonderful. Just sent a son to fetch coffee - WOW, that is a nice part of having room mates instead of little children!

Not much progress on the Control Journal. I have a really nice, large leather one that had everything in it. I wanted a "Crazy Lady Planner", but it was quite expensive. I built most of what I wanted, but LARGE. It was too much. I'm not a fan of the huge binder thing. Right now, I have a couple of notebooks that I try to keep life in. A small book for my pocket, a notebook size for knitting stuffs. I still don't always remember to pull them out when I'm planning a day, but they're always there to get my back.

On the podcast front, I'm very proud that I'm totally caught up with NPR news. I've listened to 2KnitLitChicks and like it. I'm not loving it, but I'll give them time to get rolling before I critique. Today, I have Sticks and String to catch up on, and oooh, his accent.

2012-01-15T11:34:00.000-06:00

Not much done today, but I will put in a quick note to stay in the habit. "I'm proud that..." I'm proud that I did NOT dance on the bar last week, and I'm proud that this weekend - the creepy stayed away. There were a few moments where I was in the bathroom, and heard my name outside the door. Yea... Or when someone came up to me and said that they knew me but I had no idea who the person was. Yea...

The thing in my head today is DON'T MAKE IT HARD. Don't take some little thing and blow it up. Don't create drama, don't look for the drama. If you want to clean the kitchen, that might be too big a project. For right now, just wipe the counter. You can then put away the clean dishes OR you might do the floor. Just do something without making it hard. Do that one thing that will have the most results. If you're terminally out of coffee cups, put them in the dishwasher. If you can't find underwear, go wash them, or better yet, go buy nice, new ones.

I'm looking at my huge list. Thinking what I can delegate and what can just be ignored. It's hard, and even harder to know that I have to do this stuff on my own. I feel like I want to stomp my feet and whine, but that's not making any progress. I want to curl up and watch tv with someone, or find a warm bit of shade to sit with a book. I keep telling myself that those will come when I find the bottom of the list. Or, finish the majority of the list. (sigh)

So, speaking of hard things, I'm going to think about why blame and casting aspersions has been bothering me. I should know better than to let hurtful opinions get to me or to listen to the people who are negative for their own reasons. Yet, I'm no perfect PollyAnna - when a lawyer tells you that you worry too much, yea... Hahahaha! So, to kill the roadblocks and be aware of the ones that might be my own creation - I'm looking at another person's project. It looks ABSOLUTELY LOVELY. If nothing else, go look at this art. I'm going to swing the "Sunday Challenge #3" that went by in my facebook. It says, "

When you blame, even yourself, you’re saying that you’re powerless."

and "Because when you take responsibility without blame or the inevitable beating up of yourself, you’re finally able to have the clarity to see what it is you can learn from all that crap."

So, if you'd like to join me in the "Own It" Homework, just message and I'll let you know what I'm owning. Right this second, I'm owning that I have to rush because I'm late for the shower - my fault and my problem. I'll own that I should have finished bills and laundry already - Mine, no problem. So, any time I feel guilty or see myself casting blame or negative crap - I'll be writing it in my little pocketmod. Hopefully, it stays pristine, but I'll be watching!!

2012-01-14T11:12:00.000-06:00

I did well with restarting my routine. I've done everything up to the Vitamins, and am putting off the "ready" until I have to leave for work. WIN!

Next will be the "Control Journal". FlyLady means it to be a huge thing centered on Mom and job and Kids, but I'm going to take it other places as well.

Step 1 is to gather your supplies. I have a stack of post its, so that's where I'll start. ((FlyLady has a big list - Please do go over and click around her version if you want to run ahead)) Use what you already have - 3 by 5s, notebook paper, printer paper.

(I'll jump ahead for a second and fill you in on one of the best internet things ever - The PocketMod. You just print it, and carry it. You'll use it and get used to using it. Then you'll lose it and wonder how in ... did you ever get so dependent on a piece of paper! I print mine with a month "DeadLine Plotter," an "Appointment Timesheet" if I'm going to have a crazy week, use lines or small grid for planning, and fill the rest with a "week" calendar. Best invention ever! Plus, you have the entire back to unfold and write things down on. WIN! Go directly to Create a PocketMod)

2012-01-12T11:45:00.000-06:00

The thing I'm trying to learn is being frustrating, so I'll be going back to basics instead. How basic? Did you brush your teeth? Someone in my house still needs to be reminded about this. So - How is your self care?

Self care is the basis for coping skills. If your hair stinks, it doesn't matter which Axe you use. If you allow your clothes to stay dirty, then don't be surprised when no one wants to hug you and that it doesn't matter which jeans you're wearing.

I'm grinning as I write this because this is still my super-long morning. Up before dawn and mumbling around until I have to bundle up for the crappy job. I'm still in jammies with scruffy teeth! (giggle) So, what would I be doing if I were taking good care of myself?

I set up flylady at one time to help track things. Things that are measured will show improvement. Self care is measured in the depth of what you care about. So, where are you today? Zinging and awesome or flirting with depressive levels? Either way is fine - it's just a snapshot of who you've chosen to be right now. You can go be someone else if you like. Today, I get to be a lazy bum for another 10 minutes, and I'm choosing to blog about it, so stalkers bugger off!

First, I'm going to rewrite my routine. Today, I woke to my alarm and called for the person who needs early help. "Are you up?" "Yes" "Are you really up?" "YES!" "Are you dressed?" "YES I AM" "Did you brush your teeth?" "Not yet" (sigh) I'm not even asking about the clean underwear and socks because I don't want to know.

The person that needs help has a routine written out to the small details. Most people probably don't need this, but it might be helpful to have an authority reminding you to just use the good sunscreen along with the routine basics. If nothing else, having a basic routine posted, and using it daily will be one easy thing to accomplish. It only takes 30 days to start new habits, so start a routine to make sure that you've done the things that leave you FABULOUS and ready for your day.

Homework - write yours up now. Every morning, what do you care about within the first hour? You can write another list of everything you'd like to accomplish (and I will), but the most important fits in the first hour. Put the entire routine there, all the details of EVERY morning.

This is already too long, but my first hour is usually:
Alarm - one snooze allowed - ONE!
2nd alarm - actually get up and pee.
N - moving?
Medicate the dog
Coffee
Fire

Bonus points for
EAT! Coffee creamer is not enough
Vitamins - Multi, D, Calcium and C
Yoga -
Computer (email, Rav, FB?)
Shower
Teeth
Dress to shoes

So, where are you today? I'll write more on this theme tomorrow. If you want to jump ahead - http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/ It's the best outline, but it can be quite overwhelming and "This doesn't apply to me" My schedule doesn't apply to most either, but I have a woodstove and people to care for. It's where I am at this second and is now on a green post it on my mirror. Plus, I'm already late for the shower part (grin), so DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

2012-01-12T10:55:00.000-06:00

Saying that I'll get back to this again. (giggle) The podcast project went really well, and eventually I'll post up the results. Making me happy right now is Knit Wits, Cast On, and having NPR on tap. I need to return the funky stuff to skullcandy and get a good set, but I'm back in cheap ones - even if they are SkullCandy. (Yay - PURPLE!).

The huge success is that I'm finding the HEALTHY! Yes, I'm doing it up. Lost more than 70 pounds, taking my vitamins, off all meds, and LAUGHING! Yes, me - bursting into giggles over my own stable of LOL cats. I still should be doing lots of things better, but I don't have to beat myself up over it or get beaten around the head. It's better and that's just fine.

2011-04-26T09:55:00.000-05:00

Well, another blank page to stare at. I came in to post a small story with the links that I want to keep. My obese Siamese kicked over the computer and killed it dead. Son and I worked for 4 days to reinstall an operating system, but dead is dead. I, of course, threatened to break cat's legs almost hourly but she just showed me her butt and wanted to use the free lap space for warmth.

So, I have to start my podcast journey from the beginning of the road. I know the ones that I want to stay with, but I'm sure there will be many that I forget. So, I started with a search for NPR and rejoined a few of those. Then, I went to Ravelry, because everything is on Ravelry, and the podcast junkies group has a big list of the podcasts of interest. Some of those are podfaded, some of my favorites flashed in time like a Nova and I only saw a minor reflection of something wonderful.

This makes me want to document the research and start my own podcast. I'd really like to read some books for Librivox, I'd really like to document what I'm designing and knitting. I'd like a place to sell the yarn that I haven't found a wonderful use for or fallen out of love with.

So, the first that's making me happy is the Celtic Mythology Podcast. It does have a subscribe button, and a place to listen from the website. What a WONDERFUL treat! The old stories told with passion and a bit too many sound effects. They do an absolutely fabulous job with just a minor rub up against the Pagan side. I don't want to convert to Paganism, thanks. But, finally understanding that the stories are populated with the shadows of history told in best tall-tale fashion is a thing of absolute wonder. There's also just something about highland music that stays under your skin until the call of the wild places has overtones of reeds, whistles and bagpipes. I do also enjoy the idea of spending some time with men who own kilts and might actually wear one.

2011-02-09T10:37:00.002-06:00

Today, I'm listening to Classic Poetry Aloud Podcast. My favorite is "If" by Kipling If this link works, I'll put up some more favorites.

2011-02-08T10:27:00.002-06:00

Just tripped over the Rail River Folk School, and OH, it looks like FUN! Stalk their webpage for the calendar and bloggy goodness.

2011-01-30T20:20:00.008-06:00

Hey there. This is Nikki. I have three set of American girl books here, and I want to sell them to a home instead of tossing this lovely books in the trash. Is there anyone interested in purchasing this books? I would try to set up an e-bay account, but I misplaced my routing number.

Here are pictures of the books in question. (Good quality. Some binder and book box edge wear. Each of these books came from a smoker home)

Molly. (1944. Intellectual american girl. Kind of a social nerd type of character. Reminds me of an old classmate)

Samantha. (1904. Victorian girl. She's friends with an orphan girl. How astonishingly novel! :0)

And Kirsten. (1853. Swedish immigrant. Nice girl)

The book box has this weird chocolate stain on the lower corner and the bottom. The side I pictured is the clean side. I am not sure where it came from. I think a cousin of mine handled the book box and made the stain.

Book 1 has a twenty page crease on it's cover. It doesn't affect the word print quality that much, but it is a bit annoying.

Also The book in the bottom middle depicts our Swedish heroine being alarmed by a bear. Oh my!

2010-12-27T11:21:00.003-06:00

Many things have changed, and I'm just trying to find my way. I've lined up all of the little things that I can, and asked for many forms of help. I'm just trying to find a way to get a grip, even when one person tells me that I'm fantastic and "doing great" and another twists anything into "irresponsible" and "creating drama". Is it any wonder that I feel like I can't do anything right?

2010-08-31T11:56:00.002-05:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted to this. I really, really need to get back on the writing horse, and get some things done.

One of the big new things going on is that I'm teaching classes at the new yarn store in town, and I'm really enjoying it. So far, I've offered Cassidy, February Lady sweater, and Clapotis. Upcoming will be Rockaway, socks, and Silver Leaves shawl. Yum! I was looking around at the fun stuff, and I'm thinking that Rockaway will be even more popular if I knit up a variation around "The Dude".

The other thing that may be a big, hairy deal this winter would be to get rolling at a fiber business. I am being encouraged to sell some of my handspun, so why not? Niki designed some yarn labels that I have to figure out how to print, and then I have to decide if I'm selling hanks or cakes.

2009-09-17T11:56:00.001-05:00

Spin in Public Day

I set down to write a small press release about not doing anything for Spin in Public Day on September 18th. Maybe not nothing, maybe just finish playing in the dog hair project - you know, raise funds for my fiber art barn by spinning up small animals or hats from people's pet hair. Or, work on the color that I invented that I'm going to call "Bunnies inna Grass" because I'm just that kind of dork, or play in the two fleeces that I'm prepping right now. But instead, I ended up writing a diatribe.

September 18th is work-wide spin in public day. Anyone is welcome to grab a sick and twirl something, maybe even something useful. The Bemidji contintgent of artists won't be holding a public celebration since most are still recovering from the fair, and are planning for their retreat next week. There were only two skeins of yarn on display at the Beltrami County Fair this year, but several projects began with something spinning in the air. At least two projects began in the grass north of Lake Bemidj on a beautiful Lincoln sheep with sticks and string, and will be keeping a family warm this winter.

There is always a debate over art vs craft. Is one of the fair's submitted prjects high art for making a statement against modern economics? Maybe a statement against torture - against mans inhumanity to man or against the chaos of modern systems. Ok - I really did just write "man's inhumanity to ham". Must be getting hungry.

The line of art v craft is usually drawn at usefullness. The project that makes the above statements is actually a humble pair of socks made by someone's mother from the sheep that they raised. Functional, beautiful, and almost as loud a political statement as the Obama Quilt that was hung in the center of the room.

The over educated might remember that a small, humble spinning wheel was the tool that spun the British Empire out of their colony, India. M. Ghandi advocated that each person could do a small bit to help India become economicall independent by spinning cotton on a charka. Cotton from India, neighbors weaving cloth, and wearing the result of industrious neighbors was one of the most successful economic boycotts and political protests of all time. I'm pretty sure that they might have been drinking tea, but they weren't rude to each other while they were doing it.

This small wheel, the charka has been reinvented by Ajeet Raju S Hiremath to generate electricity. The e-charka stores the energy from two hours of spinning to power an LED light for 7.5 hours, and can also be used to run a small radio. The e-charka is distributed by KVIC Mumbai.

Finally, in our school down the road, some child is spinning a pencil, a coin, a paper simply because the eye is fascinated. When the spinners do get together, traffic stops. Passersby watch the wheels spin, watch the bundles of color as they float and smile. A spinner can tell what type of person they are looking at because the creative types goggle at the colors, animal lover's hands twitch at petting the fluff and mechanical types watch the connections of the treadle to big wheel to drive band to flyer to bobbin. Theres just something about spinning that appeals to the child, the artist and the hippy in all of us. Have a great Spin in Public Day!

The Boucle store in Fargo will be hosting a "Spin In" on the 19th, and the other area stores are busily running a Shop Hop. You can find details and prizes for that on the web. Shannon Anderson moderates the Crafty in Minnesota group on Ravelry as ShannonA and moderates the Event Calendar for the state of MN.

2009-09-10T13:51:00.000-05:00

Idea for an article to write. Yes, I will totally file plagerism on your ass if you take my ideas - Copyright ME and FOREVER.

Can you tell I have been having a really bad day? Anyhooo...

The American Health Care System aka "Don't worry about it - We'll take it out of your Ass Later."

In May, I lost my MIL after her third bout of cancer. Don't worry, this isn't going to be yet another article on socialized medicine, the failures of the American Health Care system, problems with EPA policies or Champion International Paper selling Walmart supplies while letting an entire town die of cancer. Those are old tap dances with the devil. This morning, I'm thinking of a probate consultation with a perfectly lovely gentleman lawyer about cash-ish and what happens if you don't have any.

I still haven't figured out how any of this is my responsibility, or why I'm determinedly dog paddling across the deep end. Moving on...

I was there because a disabled veteran over a certain age shouldn't pay taxes on the land that he lives on. Stand firmly on that fact because shit is about to get really wierd...

He can be a squatter on land that isn't in his name because he's lived there for so many years. If he stays -as a squatter - he owes the full amount of taxes.

A reasonable person would say, "He lived there with his spouse and she owned the land - so it's his." NO. That's not how our current model of HEALTH CARE paid for by TAXES, but not socialized is all about.

When the spouse dies, the power of attorney that is given to take care of business expires. Any changes have to go thru probate court. Probate court will cost around $1500 to file -- to get out of $700 per year of taxes. Ok then, bad math -- that shouldn't be logical, but as he says, "So, there ya go."

During probate court, it will come out that the credit card companies can file claims about paying for the hotel rooms he stayed in while she was dying. All of the companies from Better Home and Gardens to the truely evil Capital One will come in and say, "She owes us money." Each claim drives the costs of probate court higher. In case I didn't say this strongly enough, credit cards are entirely EVIL, and Capital One is a raging demon with a pitchfork in one hand and a raging hard on in the other that will... eh, let's not finish that thought. I'll go on record and say that the highest three levels of Capital One should be lined up for a firing squad, with the top execs shot in the left testicle and then drawn and quartered. I'd pay... Nah, I'd chain the tractors to their legs myself and I don't even have an account with them.

Back to the ranch, or lack of ranchhouse. I still haven't explained why the system paid for by our tax dollars is actually entirely capitalist instead of socialist. I'm actually intimidated to total up the cost of surviving 3 bouts of 3 different cancers. You see, my MIL actually made too much money to get any help. And, the St Regis Paper company is entire defunct. They aren't there to pay for what their poison did to her. Champion/International/whatever they call themselves this week bought the "cleaned up Superfund site" as a way to get out of paying taxes. (dum, dum-dum, dum, dumb) They are currently arguing in court that it is perfectly reasonable for a genetically healthy, non-smoking person to have 2 different forms of breast cancer, and then ovarian cancer. And, sorry, you can't get insurance and you can't get help because you work part time at the Cass Lake Times at barely a quarter over minimum wage. For the sake of clarity, bills from the first cancer, bill from the second cancer, total mastectomy, checks where the doctor feels entirely free to say things like "It's your fault that you're fat", and the big plastic catheter in the chest. This third round, I've seen one bill for over $300,000 and one for just a few hundred dollars from the anesthesia service, nursing service, and, and, and... She's been squeezed to get blood from a stone for decades, this article is a way to tell all of them to try to chip gold out of the headstone, ya'll. Good luck with that.

But, the saga isn't over with death. Nope, that just isn't how America works. When she could finally put life on credit cards because she wasn't working all; when she could finally get help from the NOT-SOCIALIZED taxpayer funded health care - it only created more problems. You see, the state of Minnesota won't try to throw our squatter FIL out of his wife's house. The normal vulture creditors have 3 years to put all of this into probate. Discover card actually asked, "Are there any assets?" "Do you want the 10 year old tv?" and "Was there an insurance policy?" I actually laughed in that poor woman's face. "Yup, $1000 and already spent $1800 for a small service cremation and funeral." Pretty sure Discover gave up calling, Citibank and Capital One are still harassing our squatter.

The lawyer flat out told us that the state has a perfectly reasonable claim to try to get the Medical Assistance funding back out of her "estate". So, if FIL falls down the stairs or keels over laughing at Rush Limbaugh - the state gets everything. The only reward that I get for helping our squatter is that feeling of do-good-ed-ness, the craft paint, and the Lane Bryant clothes. There's no question of inheritance. You may as well call our taxpayer funded - NOT SOCIALIZED - health care system the "Estate Tax for po' jackpine savages" or "We'll take it out of your ass later" policy.

2009-07-18T19:37:00.000-05:00

We didn't get to rib fest in Cass Lake, but FIL brought us another lunch of fresh BBQ. Nessie wore sauce on her face most of the afternoon. We tried to get to Art in the Park, and saw some very nice things. The swing chairs and hammocks were very tempting, but I can't think where I'd put something like that.

Sue and her SIL had a booth with dye your own silk scarves, and she said they'd been busy all day. I'm going to get up there early tomorrow so I can see some of the dyeing. I did see a few, and the colors were terrific.

Then, we went to dinner at Super Buffet. The food wasn't quite as good as usual, but everyone had 3 or 4 plates worth.

I was able to finish almost the entire Clapotis while I walked around, so I should be able to give her that on Monday. I'm SO excited to do this for her. Tomorrow, we have to get to a fish fry, and I have absolutely no idea what to bring. I'm thinking that a couple of pies should do it.

2009-07-17T23:34:00.000-05:00

This is my picture of the most awesome DIY swift ever. I asked my tall engineer to make me one, and he put together a simple version. The next day, I came downstairs to find this double reinforced uber-swift. I figured out that it's exactly 53 inches around, so if I count the spins - I can do the math to figure exactly how many yards I've spun.

I've made little tags about where the yarn is from, how long it is, and when I finished it. It's working very well, and it's actually fun to use. My only complaint is that the set is so old that some of the pieces are worn and make it loose. The legs on the bottom tend to come away if it's moved, but it holds up nicely when it's being used.

2009-07-17T23:23:00.000-05:00

This is the first of the spinning posts. My good friend, Chris, loaned me her spinning wheel and I've been obsessed. This first picture is Claudia's fleeces hanging on the front railing.

2009-07-17T22:45:00.000-05:00

Interesting. I'm updating a bunch of things, and I've finally gotten this to work from the laptop. Yay! I'm going to split this into life vs spinning and take bunches of pictures now that it's all working. I'm also going to talk about the podcasts that I'm listening to, and what the tall people are up to. (I can't call them the short people since the baby is now 6 foot 1)

My first and second projects from hand spun yarn are Kitty Pi. Both of them turned out just LOVELY. Leo's kitten Herman absolutely loves his, but the older cats aren't so thrilled so theirs is more of a yarn bowl for me than a cat bed. The third is a Clapotis for the woman that gave me the fleeces, but I won't take a picture of that until I actually give it to her. It will be soon since I'm down to about 40ish stitches.

The other big project is finishing the She-Knits Mystery Kal bag (She-Knits podcast, blog, bags) and wrestling with wips. The Mystery is just LOVELY, and I'm so thrilled to have it almost finished. The wips are in several time-out bags that are in my newly weeded out closet.

I've had to wimp out on the Tour de Fleece and the Minneapolis Fiber Fest AND the Sock Summit, but I'm determined to get to the Fargo Fiber Fest, and hopefully get some things set up around Bemidji. I do have the local spinners set up to demonstrate for the Beltrami Fair during the weekend of Aug 1. Ohh - making a note to myself to invite the Fargo and Park Rapids spinning groups to this! Wouldn't that be a great time!

2009-06-02T10:13:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all that offered words of kindness after my Mother In Law passing on 5/9. If anyone didn't hear, she lost her battle with cancer last month. It's been a very long spring already, but I've found a distraction that's going to find me out on the corner, swinging my.... knitting needles!!

I was offered a small Ashford Kiwi spinning wheel to "borrow". I already feel guilty like I owned into it, but I'm having such fun!! I spun a pound of the cheapest crap I could find - it became two "Kitty Pi" cat beds, and the rest was dyed in Koolaid to make a fuzzy vest for Miss Niki. So, I got another and some Merino. The Merino spins like playing with baby kittens, and I LOVE it. It's going very, very fine, so half of my brain wants to offer it for sale to fund my own spinning wheel and lots more fiber - and the other half wants to make something lovely, lacey, soft and PURPLE!

A dear friend let me help her comb out some stuff that she's using to make a a gorgeous bulky yarn, so she taught me a bit and I helped for the afternoon - and she gave me my own first fleece. I couldn't keep my hands off it. I had to clean and bleach a trash can, then soaked it in Dawn, then soaked in Murphy's Oil Soap. It made my little kitchen smell like an old barn, but I hung it on the front railing to dry. It was very gross and funky, and there may have been an "I have icky Woool" song to horrify the teenagers. But, it smells lovely now. I happily tortured it with a dog comb and fluffed it well. I tried to spin it, but it wanted to be treated better than that. The friend offered to bring over her drum carder and we made 4 huge bats of what I'd combed. LOVELY! Herman tried to make those his cat bed, but he was informed that it wasn't an option. I've spun an entire bat in an evening, and I'm in love. It's almost filled a bobbin with a lovely, springy laceweight with such a shine...

It's a Shetland crossed with something that starts with F, probably children of a lady named "Lily", so thank you, Lily and Lily-baby. I have pictures on the laptop, but I have to grab a cable to get them from the camera to the flicker to Ravelry, facebook, and emails. I just want to spin, so I'll put this post up, work on some links and pictures, and get some electronic work and cleaning type stuff going today. I have a housefull of "slave labor" - I mean children, so after summer job searches, I should have plenty of muscle for projects.

2009-05-01T12:54:00.000-05:00

Hmm. I'm writing really long posts again, so I should probably start posting to the blog the stuff that I've got running around my head.

Firstly, I'm almost finished with Niki's blanket and a pair of Fruit Loop socks. I'll link to the patterns and pictures if I can. It's rather a bummer because Niki's blanket was supposed to be a mindless project that I'd work on after I'd burnt out on UFOs. But, that's ok. I organized a stack and have them moving again. I'd even found a pair of socks that just needed to be Kitchnered. uggg

Also, I'm a podcast addict. I admit it. I'll probably live the rest of my life with buds in my ears and I'm ok with that. Random sound usually makes me nervous anyway. This morning, I'm listening to History According to Bob. I don't have a top list as it depends on the mood I'm in. I love Cast-On, CraftLit, Lime and Violet, Dr Gemma, Forgotten Classics and many more. I'll try to note out what I'm thinking about them as they post up new stuff because I'm rather enamored of all of them.

The other side of it is that I'm getting very used to having Vanessa here. She's getting bored and figuring out that she likes to read, knit, and learn. If tv gets turned on, then she'll sit there all day. She's lost 3o pounds, learned to crochet, and we'll be starting the yard and garden work pretty quickly.

2008-08-18T12:58:00.000-05:00

Busy yesterday. The camera is all ready, and the sun is out for pictures. First, I'm trying to get up a bunch of pictures for the web that I took yesterday at the Olson reunion in Ulen, MN. It was a nice little park, and the kids, I can't call them short people anymore, they behaved terrifically. There was a bit of testosterone stupidity, fake kung-fu and chin up contests, but it was all in fun. I'll probably put a picture essay on the main site, but for now, this is my favorite picture of a nice, long day. For a short picnic, I think it was supposed to be 11-1, we didn't get home until almost midnight.
This is Miss Emily on the bridge at Ulen city park. I think she was actually singing to the fish that had been traumatized by the rock skipping and ker-plunk-ing, so they'd just fed them pizza and determined that they were trout and there weren't any fishing poles in the caravan.

2008-08-14T13:27:00.000-05:00

New email - and I have permission from Sheri, the cool advocate, to put it all online this time.

M called, Marlene set up an appointment for M with Craig Sinclair, the P and A guy who is assigned to assistive technology issues and can write an appeal for the MA denial. But here's the kicker--if Marlene was going to do no more than that, M and I could have taken care of it way back in June when I first understood the issue. But it was agreed at the meeting that I would find a resource for resolving the AT issue and give Marlene that information to act on.

Besides the issue of providing a service D (nephew) has been assessed as needing, this is an example of a good way to test the caseworker's professionalism on the job. A simple request, good documentation, all she had to do was follow through timely and gather the records she has or has easy access to for the P and A lawyer to go forward with. Supposing the parent was unable or unwilling to follow through, Marlene would not have (since she also said C was going to take care of the MA appeal but didn't follow through--meaning Marlene did not follow through to make sure it got done). It was an easy assignment for Marlene and she blew it. As supervisor, Beth should have also monitored for outcomes since this was done as a staffing with her and Chip and Melanie. So Beth blew it too. As new Social Services Director (hey, they changed the contract so Chip is allowed to keep his hockey store in Moorhead--the previous head was not allowed any outside employment or self-employment) and (at the time) Child and Family Services director, Chip is ultimately responsible.

{{LIE ALERT}} C said outright that she's done enough and has to concentrate on her children. No, she never said she'd check with MA (Medical Assistance).}}

M said she signed the release for you. DBGR also wanted a release from M to get a copy of her parental capacity, she said no way. After talking to her, I called SEHSC to find out the easiest way for her to get a copy.

Hey, if you want to throw this on the blog, I have no problem.

Yay! Progress is good!! I think that Beth finally realizes that I'm not random, crazy ranting person from the street who just wants to yell and moan for the sake of drama. NO, been trying to fix drama for TWO YEARS thru the usual channels, so now I'm ranting. It's working. I cleaned my whole kitchen happily with Lime and Violet on the ipod. And, now I'm cuddling a bright alpaca smoke ring and working on the articles. Pictures will be coming since with my mind clear - I remembered to put the batteries on the charger. Sun is out, coffee is good - there will be *PEACEFUL* knitting.

2008-08-14T11:17:00.000-05:00

Teaser - I was informed that it could probably be a very good day for "news on foster care". Yay!

Update - I tracked down the "cottage number" and was able to talk to nephew last night. He still seemed rather drugged down and depressed. But, he got to ask after everyone, and even asked for news of our dog (fine and fat, and has a girlfriend - 8 mo old "Sophie"). So, progress is good.

As I was typing this, Tim E returned my call. I think that he intended to be officious and "We cannot speak to you without a release." But, we talked for quite awhile about program specifics and got into mentoring programs. I even had the nerve to I suggested that they bring in the geek friendly entertainment to help kids with social skills, math skills and the like. YES, DBGR now know the words LARP, Cos-play, Magic and card based games. Whoo HOO!

It sounds like DBGR is trying to move from the residential model of medical treatment into the community based, family guidance model. And, they have some help from the Red River Asperger's community group. So, there's hope, maybe.

Thanks, Tim E!

2008-08-13T14:41:00.000-05:00

First - Received a phone call this morning from Marlene Sorum's boss, Beth. She tried to tell me that everything was fine, but I trotted out the "lost release of information" and the "two visits in 20 months" and the "No Communication Assistant Technology." So, she brought out the good lipstick and asked me to put the issues in writing.

My brief overview ran to 5 pages, and yes, I will post them here after I make sure that the rules are followed, and I haven't missed any major issues.

Secondly, for "Are Human Services actually meeting Child's Needs?" and real stories of Human Services, I looked for candidate platforms and statements about how North Dakota's Human Services are working, and I didn't find Squanto. I'll keep looking.

I did find one of the people I'm recommended to talk to. Glory Kramlich was defeated in a bid for state legislature. I don't understand why - the other guy must have shown a superman cape - because she really knows her stuff! The state of North Dakota has a surplus, so she's interested in fixing roads, restoring student funding back to 65%, and extending a program that looks like Companions for Children or Big Brother/Big Sister to help kids have more support to be successful. We talked for far too long about the different things that do work to help children, and places to go for good services, like the Ann Carlson Center in Jamestown. (Web at http://www.annecenter.org/ ) I hope that she stays active in making positive change!

Hopefully, I'll have the letter edited and polished to post tomorrow, and I'll continue to speak with the leaders to see what is proposed and what is being addressed to help all of the children of North Dakota.

Details of Ear Aerobics, Auditory Integration Training, Dr Bernard Rimland, Dr Stanley (?) Greenstrand or any of the proven or disproven methods are still over at http://www.wierdkids.com/ The "Autism" tab has information on IEP, Books, Support groups and services, protocols and eventually it might become organized.

2008-08-12T14:55:00.000-05:00

Knitting is really good for thinking. I'm finishing my coffee, elsewhere I had to admit that I needed to walk away from the caffeine, and knitting - what chores need to be done, what I'll do tomorrow, how I need to get away from this drama and get myself ready for work.

And, I realize that this is bigger than my feelings for my nephew. This is even bigger than the racism, class-ism, and discrimination against the disabled/different. This is how the government is spending my money.

I've been pretty lucky. This family got it together enough to help others. I was able to stay home and actually raise my kids to be nice, if wierd, people who aren't afraid to speak out at a Clean Air Meeting with the EPA and Potlatch, "It's great that the air will be cleaner, but what are you going to do about the people that are already sick?". Or, speaking out against yet another liquor store near the reservation.

This is our government when no one cares enough to stand up for a low-IQ woman. This is how one black/Indian child is being treated by Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch - told how much he deserves to be there and isn't leaving, then "Child is depressed and unmotivated."

Each of us touches the government in some way, and each of us can tell a story or relate some facts. Minnesota tries and has a good complaint system, but still have improvements to make. I'm not letting anyone off the hook, I want to know what needs to be fixed and how it can be done better. By contrast, North Dakota looks like a Nazi camp, but eventually (hopefully) I'll finally find someone who was helped by this billion dollar con game. I've seen a few in MN. Is it actually worth all of this money to put uneducated, drugged out kids right back on the street without help?

Forget Iraq and Obama/McCain a moment and look at our daily lives instead of just the newcast and Jon Stewart - is this what it means to be an American?

2008-08-12T14:16:00.001-05:00

Someone has read this and wants to leave feedback - only about NY. Apparently, NY decided that an entire class of volunteers is unacceptable to be foster parents. That's why taxpayers are being socked for extra money to keep these kids in "custody" and out of family situations. It seems that you have to be blonde and wear khakis to be fit to parent. I invited her to write as she pleased, but it's rather cool that I have readers and feedback already about how it's not just North Dakota that's sucking money for moronic policy decisions..

This woman is still angry that she had a Muslim kid from a war torn country who was taken from her care because she wasn't black enough then - but now "Is she black?" Duh. This kid was dragged away from a war by a stranger relative and placed with her - but is now in "custody" with urban black kids as if that's more appropriate by NY standards.

2008-08-12T13:21:00.000-05:00

The Vulnerable Adult people are WONDERFUL!

First good suggestion is that we can start the process from here by becoming licensed for foster care.

Secondly - "The county is required to assist families in filing a complaint." and we have been told several times that "There is no complaint procedure" for either Marlene or the public defender, Doug. There still isn't a way to fire Doug N, but I will still be formulating a hate letter to the North Dakota Bar Association. Ick!

2008-08-12T12:58:00.001-05:00

Brainstorm -- In Minnesota, they actually have a pretty good program for the protection of Vulnerable Adults. A Vulnerable Adult is someone that is has an impairment, mental or functional. Although SIL does pretty well, and can do things - I do believe that she has several reasons do be considered a Vulnerable Adult, regardless of if she wants to admit it or not.

Isn't it neglect that Fargo (Cass County) social services have allowed her to live in a trailer with no running water and try to handle a bad divorce on her own? Isn't it abuse that they then punish her for making bad decisions when they know that qualifies for help?

Hmm. The contact that just voicemailed me is The Human Services Center from http://www.nd.gov/dhs/info/pubs/docs/aging/aging-vulnerable-adults-factsheet.pdf We'll just see what they say about investigating if this case is handled correctly and if M should have been getting help all along instead of being treated worse than a drug addict.

(No, not being rhetorical. If a mother abuses drugs, she can get her kids back after completing rehab, so in a month or two. SIL has been separated from her children, not allowed but a couple of visits and no private phone calls for almost 2 years. Fact - not rhetoric.)

2008-08-12T11:40:00.000-05:00

Posting up here is already getting something done. I wish that I'd done it earlier. A note this morning from a great advocate says, "Tim Eissinger who oversees the DBGRs and he's just not sure how the breakdowns happened with communication because truly what's happening the DBGR in Bismarck or Western Plains is going to be serving youth who don't have the dual diagnosis per se, they are moving those children to the Minot campus to be served because of referrals and the need for having more youth to serve in the community locally, so what they've been doing is talking to parents and custodians one on one by phone or during staffing their direct meetings with the case managers, so they have been accommodating parents and custodians on time frames and the moves and the comfort levels and also you know how they're wanting to not mix the populations so the youth who have the dual diagnosis can get more specialized treatment up in Minot. They've been also meeting with custodians and providers either direct or by phone too and they've have been giving presentations to the field they targeted about 55% of the state by talking with county directors, PATH, DJS, human service directors and other providers who have children under their care, so I talked to Tim this morning cell phone..."

That is a big, fat, racist lie. To begin with, we were told point blank by the social worker, Marlene Sorum, that our nephew was going to placed with us. Period. I wrote an injunction and told Marlene that nephew should not get bounced around again, and I told the lawyers that I had an injunction that needed to filed before the deadline to stop him moving to Minot. He's now in Minot. The grandparent's also objected strenuously to moving this child even further away. Especially when there are services and homes in the Fargo area where members of the family do live, and where more family members travel to the VA, and visit.

It also bothers me "wanting to not mix the populations;" I want to know the racial and religious demographics of Minot. They aren't wanting to mix WHOM? And further, " the need for having more youth to serve in the community locally;" Serve in the community? Like inmate cleanups? Lock up your own d^mn black population and leave my nephew out of your "need for youth to serve." My nephew needs speech and language HELP!, not to be picking up trash by the side of a ND road.

2008-08-11T16:13:00.000-05:00

Ok, new post. I didn't want to conversate about the crap that hit the fan, but now I really don't care. North Dakota can't really do much worse to us than they already have.

Firstly, SIL (call her M) had a bad divorce. She was living in a trailer without running water, switching schools, so she had her kids taken away for dirty, not in school, blah, blah, blah. There were reasons, but nothing worse than usual and the kids were "not in immenate danger" (That's spelled wrong, but blogger isn't helping.) So, MN would only help her do better, and ND actually took them away.

Ok, nephew (the one on the main website's banner on the far left) was in foster care with the other SIL (call her K). Ok, fine. Well, the poor child reported a bomb threat and was dragged to juvie. (Being BLACK in North Dakota?) He has a major speech issue, so that was probably enough of it. But, he was evaluated when he first went into care as not depressed, not bi-polar, not ADHD - no need of meds. I have the paper.

So, tell me why ND still has this child in juvie? He wasn't permitted to visit his mother or FAMILY at all until his great-grandmother's funeral. He finally got a visit after about 13 months. It's now at 20 months, and all the social worker does is spout crap about parenting classes, how to speak proper English classes and the like. SIL has done them and still isn't "fit." I've finally realized that she is just refusing to give this child back to his family no matter what happens. She says that he could come with us (Hello, I'm licensed to work with disabled people and help 30,000 people a month!), but no paperwork has ever been filed - NOTHING has been done. Even worse, I've been told that this social worker is one of the better ones in the system.

Does it get worse? Oh ya. The lawyer who canceled court so that the social worker could go on vacation and never told the family. (Take a 3 hour car ride to go to court - and how po'd would you be?) Tried to fire him, and apparently, he can't be fired and there is no way we can even make a complaint against his performance. (He also called SIL the wrong name in court - IN COURT! On the record!! DUH)

3 hours one way to try to help with the IDIOTIC Cass county, North Dakota court system isn't bad enough of a trip - the state wants to hold him in Bismark (5 hours) and threatened to move him to Minot. I wrote an injunction so these papers could get juggled for him to come with us, with uncle J, with auntie M, with any of the hundreds of clan around Dakota and MN. Nope - it was totally ignored by the lawyers, and he got moved to MINOT. The place for children with "serious problems" (see paper that I have above - not bi-polar, not ADHD - no need of meds.)

So, I've had to give up before I got postal. The scary part is that people have told me where this woman lives, where she trolls for men and gets plastered (no, not kidding), and then they laugh at my good impulse control. So, now the world knows why I've been quiet - why I'm mad, and the reasons that I'd rather hide in a corner and mumble to myself then do the stuff that I want to accomplish.

Does this get worse YES! I've been asking for the papers - with several privacy releases, and have *NOTHING*. The social worker actually lied to her boss, Chip - I'd watched M sign a release at a BS meeting, she said she didn't have it. So, we got another, "No, I can't send that to any of the agencies, you need a release for each agency, no copies." Nothing that I asked for from the officials. I dug thru the "files" of both SILs, and they don't have a treatment plan, they don't have a plan of what M needs to do to get her kids back (NOTHING!), there isn't even the federally required education plan. Nephew says that Dakota Boys and Girl's Ranch (DBGR) has bounced him ahead two grades, but the few papers say how disabled he is, how he needs strong meds, how horrible he is. By law, the parent is supposed to have all of these things. There was a meeting with the parents, aunts, grandparents where the family is supposed to say what all is supposed to happen - ya, none of that has been done.

Meanwhile - he is drugged to the freakin' gills. He's had two psychotic episodes from *DRUGS* that they've handed him. He's said that they tell him all the time how much he deserves to be there, and how his mother doesn't want him. DBGR has told his mother that she's not allowed to talk to him without speaker phone, and that she cannot discuss court with him. He's dragged to their church and pressured to "get baptized", and not allowed to do his reservation type stuff (tobacco offerings, blessings, sweats, songs).

So, now it's public that my SIL isn't Suzy perfect and had a rough patch. It's not a secret that my nephew has been locked up for 20 months for being a black kid that reported a bomb threat in the Enderland School district. It's not a secret that Cass County, North Dakota will not help families, steals children, and lies in their conversations and paperwork, and that Marlene Sorum is nothing but a bully with a cheesy degree and a bad power trip (and alcohol problem). Doug Nesheim is a f^cking moron, and the court personnel isn't much better. (Oh, and the "guardian ad litem" will go to a special circle of hell. I was asked to train for that program, and I know she's a waste of space, going to lunch with the prosecutor, classist pig.)

Did I mention that when I and hubby showed up, dressed very well, with three very well dressed children and briefcases how the entire team got extremely polite? And how I was requested to write a paper to "inform" the staff about the rare genetic disease? (Ya, ME!) The same thing that they were informed of since the beginning where these morons never bothered to even contact the University of Minnesota genetic program where nephew had been seen? (Thanks, UofM for checking on that for me!)

Ya - North Dakota is a third world country where children really do get seized for being black - we're not the only ones!

2007-12-15T10:54:00.000-06:00

Well, It's been far too long since I've posted. I've been being boring again. I'm procrastinating on learning Dreamweaver, so I've been knitting like it's an addiction. Even worse, I've found enablers at a wonderful community called Ravelry. It's for any fiber hobby-ist, but it's still in beta, so you have to request an invite.

It's been so nice to just sit and knit and read. But, I feel like I should contribute by actually taking pictures of what I've done. Only, it's been too cold to be outside unless I'm moving wood, or just not sunny enough to take good pictures. I really don't want to be playing with light boxes, so it's all just on the "to do" list.

A minor bit of unboring - the lawsuit for the toxic waste site is finally into the deposition stage. MIL is all worried that they might order us to release our movie footage and research, but I really don't think that they can. The only parts of it that are released to the public are all on the website, so I don't think that they can ask for everything.

So, back to ignoring Christmas and cleaning all the UFO (unfinished objects) out of my closet. If I really want to propagandize - I'm really doing a deep clean on the big closet, right? Yay, me!

2007-11-20T11:57:00.000-06:00

The second collection were things that were being blocked and finished in a big rush for the fair. I got distracted when sweet hubby accidentally *FELTED* a lace shawl, but I can't kill him - it won first place.

Picture one and two - same blanket - lace made of baby yarn. I really should spring for the good stuff, but the new mommy was just thrilled that it was washable. Third and fourth are a white yarn with pink and blue speckles. Five and Six are of one of my favorite sweaters. It's a poncho with arm shaping and turned out pretty well. I do get nice comments on it when Niki or I wear it. I'd like to do that again, but when I went to look for *SUBTLE* colors, I got distracted by pretty clearance yarn. I'll blog about clearance yarn later.

7 and * are a really nice blanket. I wish I'd put more work and thought into it, but blindly following an interesting pattern with cheap yarn got me an almost indestructible blanket. The cat has clawed it and slept on it. It's been tossed behind the couch and come up with no snags. I've worn it as a shawl around the house and it's almost too long for that, but perfect for a lap robe.

The last is the long storied map blanket. Yet AGAIN, it didn't make the fair because I can't find what safe hole I stuck the cursed beads in! Someplace perfectly safe and so secure that I can't find them again. Ah well, they are still lovely and kicking around someplace.. At least it's finally sewn, washed, blocked and has the tassels complete.

2007-11-20T11:36:00.000-06:00

Ug, now I remember why it was so hard to keep a knitting blog. I really jump around too much to just keep one going. Firstly, I have a collection of projects at Wierd Kids http://www.wierdkids.com/gs/knitting.htm

The first is the Viking Turid sweater. It's a GREAT pattern, and I can't find it. Going thru the closet of UFO land, I've found several things that I put aside. And, most of them are things that I really do want to finish. Bottom left of the third picture are 2 peach Elizabeth Zimmerman Dickies. They are really comfy, but are from "antique" yarn so they don't really match anything that I wear. Then, a dark grey one that has been used, and a rainbow one for "What was I thinking". But it does look "cool". (picture 4 is closer)

Then, the socks - picture 5 is closer. Grey tweed and purple is a pair, Red and white, black and rainbow (very comfy), the white top and peach/purple is a mistake that I can't find (maybe the heel is just too short or the plastic managed to shrink?), and the first of the striped socks. The long brown sock is my absolute favorite. It's plastic, but it's a very soft one that was given to me without a label. It's PERFECT for cuddling with a book, especially if you don't want to walk anywhere. (Ok, it falls down like a brick). But, it's SOOO comfy... The two green hats were a strange plastic, but thin so they could be beaded, and they both were sold. The yellow and green fit with one of William's coats, so it's stayed here. Down the left side of the circle are various swirly hats. It's the simplest pattern of increase until the colors line up, knit and watch gauge, then find someone to fit the hat. The pink and light blue in the middle are Lopi. The grey with red intarsia is Lopi and plastic, but match one of my coats. The red and pink was made for Niki, and the pink and purple was a checkerboard experiment. It went tight, so it's one for Vanessa. Picture 6 is more hat detail; picture 7 is a closeup of Vanessa's hat. Picture 8 is my hat. 9 is Will's (he wanted to put it on consignment, but then pulled it out of the bag.)

Pictures 9-13 are my first cable. Silly me worked the pattern in the round and totally messed up the shoulder shaping. I'm proud to say that I only made one mistake and it's right in the center of picture 13. I left it because it reminds me to pay attention when I cable.

Pictures 14-16 are Niki's Salish style cardigan. It's from a Priscilla Roberts-Gibson book that I found in the library, and I've probably borrowed it four times now. 17 and 18 are an attempt to do a swirly sweater. I haven't take pictures of it finished, but I've worn it several times and so has Niki. The varigated is a suede feeling, and the body style is a long tunic. The last few are some of the hats and wristlets that were sold. It's Nature Spun wool and the patterns are Salish again.

2007-10-19T10:33:00.000-05:00

When Ickle holds still, she is one strangle looking cat. This is after a cuddle with the electric blanket and a good belly rub. She can sleep and purr with her mouth open, and we can do anything we want with her. I'm thinking that she's going to be a frequent flyer on "Stuff on my Cat" and the LOLcats at "I can has cheezburger."

2007-10-19T10:27:00.001-05:00

This is the Ickle. She was treed by the dog last week as a bag of bones with bad fur. I brought the dog in the house, got Niki into the house, and William went out and pulled her of the tree. She is DEFINITELY the most playful cat that we've ever had! On the second night, she'd been well fed and well rested, so wanted to play the game where the human wiggles under the blanket and kitty pounces. This little thing dove under the covers for my hand, and punched me in my NOSE!

All of the pictures of her are blurry because she barely sits still.

I like this picture because you can see her markings. She has one white eyebrow, mustache, beard and the crooked blaze down her nose. You'll see in the next pictures that her feet are spotty and even her tan colors just don't look quite "right". So, "Icky Little Kitty" has become Ickle and looks like she's here to stay. Mildred is NOT amused.

2007-09-23T11:28:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm still running like crazy - but I did manage to move the wierdkids site onto a new program. The main pages are in Dreamweaver, but I still have to clean up the coding and make sure that all the pages work.

I'm thinking of adding more new stuff, and letting the kids make their own stuff. William has some pictures about the project he is working on - making a Halo helmet. Niki has quite a bit of art and concept stuff that she could put together. They've been working hard at avoiding anything that looks too much like schoolwork - So, they're making lots of progress without workbooks. Isn't homeschooling great?

In my news, I've a good mention in Mary Griffith's new book "Viral Learning: Reflections on the Homeschooling Life". I'm very proud that I could contribute something real, but I'm still bumming that I haven't yet reached out with something that's just mine.

If you haven't yet seen it, William's old project is on YouTube, and WK. Even better, Will and his Dad evisterated the XBox 360 and fixed the stupid thing. I can't even say how disgusted I am with Microsoft. It took hours on the phone for Microsoft to admit that we owned and registered the stupid thing. Then, we shipped it in for the fix. Only, they sent it back!! William had painted the CD door gold - and according to Microsoft, that was a "mod" (modification) that they wouldn't cover. It was PAINT! Paint that could just about have been wiped off. So, after all the time that we spend training people to use computers better, and all the money that we've spent and spend monthly (360 live) - we're not valued enough to fix a known design flaw. So much for being first in the running of the geeks... I'm not willing to buy Halo 3, and I'm set against Uncle Billy. The thing is that it's William's passion. He's in the beta, he's designed a helmet and is working on ideas for web pages - plus, it's his money. So, he'll be in the running of the geeks.

2007-07-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

Yay, it worked!! This is Will all dressed for paintball. Doesn't he look all grown up??

2007-07-19T10:44:00.000-05:00

Oh cool! I guess you do have to check these things constantly!! I found a great new site for having an RSS feed for my list of stuff to get to (don't worry if this doesn't make sense) - but blogger changed too. So, I had to do some jumping to get thru the hoops to get them to work together.

Now, my gmail works with blogger, chatspeak, and 30 boxes - Whoo Hooo!!! Now, if I just had a better mobile, then life would be good. Oh, and have everything able to update my main domain, and be able to download everything that I need to know about dreamweaver in one big chunk.

Ok, there's some new pictures of William on flicker, we've been doing the park days at Lake George and that picture heads off www.bemidjihs.com - the BAHA website. (Oh, and I need someone who would like the homeschool t-shirts that say BAHA, I think 4 more and the printing is free) Um, the camping trip starts this weekend, and we may have someone organizing a Nisswa water park trip on Aug 15th.

2007-01-27T15:35:00.000-06:00

I've been getting behind in my notes to myself (and anyone who cares to listen). I'm working - which is a drama that I won't flap about. I suppose the big news is that a new format is coming. One that is easier to change around and organize into something that looks like rational thought rather than someone's attic. Another is that I'm signed up for a blogger update, I just have to sit and figure it all up.

The cat is being passive agressive with her tail from the top of the monitor. I play a video game and the tail is over a corner. I surf and the tail is over the X. I'd get angry about it, but she is smirking at the same time. She loses the smirk when I poke her in the butt to move the tail - but they both wander back into place as she shifts around, dusting the top of the monitor with her belly flab. Yes, Mildred, I'm discussing feline flab on my blog. Nyah Nyah. If you've noticed, she is the star of the Menu site's anti-spam filter. So, now you know that the loop of fur that droops down the monitor is the reason that she stars on a page about eating well.

2006-11-29T13:23:00.000-06:00

The big project is underway, and Bemidji Menus is now Live! We have most of the menus around town, and are still typing. WHEW! But, it's big and pretty, and very worth looking at.

Now, if I can just the card reader to work so I can post up the new pictures...

2006-10-01T13:30:00.000-05:00

It's been a quiet week of dejunking and getting ready for winter. Niki took a big step into adulthood by getting rid of all of her Polly Pockets sets. The drought is finally over, so I have grass again. I set up the Fire Station tour for the homeschool group, and found two sources of firewood - so that's two quests fulfilled.

2006-09-21T11:28:00.000-05:00

I think this is my favorite picture of the bunch. The beautiful red head is doing her best scrunchy face while her brother is thinking of hiding from the camera again. Niki is giggling at her rescue of Michael from the "Vortex of DOOM" that the kids were doing in the whirlpool. How homeschool to do a science experiment with some 15 people in a hotel pool! I'll have to get permissions from the rest to blog those pictures, but they are so cute... Afterward, most of us trekked out into the blustery 40 degree weather to the heated outdoor pool and hot tub. The hotel had mini golf and roasted marshmellows for us - but it was too cold to get too far away from the heat sources. The Marco Polo game turned into a Roman-water wrestling, so there were some very tired, very happy soggy kids in Duluth that night.

2006-09-21T11:20:00.000-05:00

Just back from Duluth, and it was terrific! This is Niki and William on the Lakewalk with a fish sculpture near the Vista cruise boat. The panda is a junk shop buy that went all over Duluth with us.

2006-09-13T12:56:00.000-05:00

Wow - I did get busy and couldn't do too much with my shoulder acting up. The "Not Back to School" picnic was fabulous! We had about 20 families come - some as far away as Brainerd.

School is begun, and Eastern History looks like it could be stretched into infinity. We colored flags, and used wiki to find out facts about the Pacific Islands. I think they were more interested in the trench and volcanos than the islands - but ok. Deep Ocean studies ahead...

The homeschool group is set up with field trips, party ideas, and interesting things all around. I set up www.bemidjihs.com and even got it hooked into a free email server.

2006-08-16T12:27:00.000-05:00

Planner Organizer Crazy!

I'm supposed to be looking for ways to teach kids about running their
own planner and getting them organized and self-sufficient.

Instead, I ran across the improvements in Google Desktop. WOW!
There's crap in there that I didn't know I needed. Did you know that
you can tell your computer when you toss in a load of laundry, and
it'll tell you when the washer should be done!

Google Desktop http://desktop.google.com/

Google Gadgets http://desktop.google.com/plugins/sidebar/
So far, I like the sketch pad for notes, the to do list, and the photo
thing (not sure what that was called), and I have to restart to get
the laundry one going. (I wonder if it tracks how many loads? Maybe
it'll buy me a drink when I hit 100 )

I did remove lots of things that I won't use - Stocks, weather, email,
network monitor. But, it looks like a very cool idea. I do happen to
know that one of the reasons that make Google a great company is that
employees are encouraged to take a certain percentage of their time to
work on "their" projects and interests, and they encourage independent
people to submit their projects.

First, I forgot to add that there is a "Google Pack" of good stuff to
download like Google Earth, Picasa, and Norton. (Symantec is better,
but free is good too) at http://www.google.com/intl/en/options/ (the
pack is at bottom right)

And, http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/templates/default.aspx is the
address for the templates that I was looking for. There's a new
"Student ID" under the education section, and I use the Fitness Chart
for Women and the weekly meal planner quite often. I took a chart
that looked like what I wanted (Project To Do list?) and made it into
my chore chart that I've offered to share.

If you know how to save your form every so often, and use control Z to
kill the things that aren't working (it means back up one step) - then
it's pretty easy to change things around and make it fit you better.
I like using the templates because I'm not so good at starting things
from scratch, but I can set up nice things pretty well if I have
something to start with.

2006-08-16T12:02:00.000-05:00

Rather like icky cotton candy - isn't it?

2006-08-16T11:32:00.000-05:00

Took some time to get my house in order, and quite a few things happened. First, I have to update the "wierd hair" page. Leo decided to dye the dreadlocks pink and purple. It looks like he got a swirly in a cotton candy machine. Ok, I've found a zen about his hair - but my shower was purple. Not a little purple - the entire bottom half was purple. It took four tries and a female friend, but he did finally get it back to white.

I don't want to tread on feelings here - but this is important to me. Kids at my house do quite a number of different things. One of the big ones is bike riding. There's a golf course where they can play or just get a soda, and the bike trail system right close. One of the friend's was supposed to be picked up at 9am - so he was ready at 9 am. Finally at about 10:30, I call his mother and he was supposed to be at practice at 9am. She said she'll get him in an hour or 2. Never showed. About 3ish, we had to grab something for dinner, so I had her son try to call her. I heard yelling, and I think she hung up on him. So, I told the father what we were up to, and gave him my cell number. Took the dog, went to a park, grabbed chips and home for dinner. Mommy dearest rolls up at about 9:30 having a temper tantrum. Apparently, they'd missed me at both numbers and just never tried back. Uh, I don't have an answering machine - my voice mails get bounced to email.

(Put coffee down) This is a para (helper) who is supposed to be kind and patient with special ed kids in the school district. Ick, icky ick.

So - what to do? I'd like to perserve the boy's friendship, but I really do not want to deal with this again. Plus, if she rants and raves like this at an adult - then how does she speak to her kids? I already know what her son's self esteem is like - is it only a matter of time before he starts acting out?? This stuff is leaving me sleepless. I pretty much expected an apology the next day, and nothing.

2006-08-05T12:14:00.000-05:00

(Jeans not dry)

Excellent Article at Salon. You do have to watch an ad to read all of the articles, but it's still better than registering for spam...

Quarterlife Crisis

Dear MTV,

This week, you turned 25. We've spent a lot of time with you over the years -- we're 25, too -- and we wanted to wish you a happy birthday. But we also want to say something else. It's a request, really, or a plea:

Please. Stop. For the good of the country, stop what you're doing.

Look, MTV, we don't mean to be a downer on your birthday. We know you faced the pressure to change. It happens to us all.

What we're suggesting -- and we realize it's very un-"MTV generation" of us -- is that, just maybe, now that you're 25, you ought to take some responsibility for what you're doing. Because if you merely made bad TV, none of this would matter. But you don't make bad TV. You make TV so good it's created a generation. You have the chance to show that generation there's more to life than spring break in Cancún, more than getting wasted, picking up girls and swimming nude in the hot tub (fun as that always looks, no matter how many times we see it!), more than beauty pageants, decadent parties and manipulating friends. Something beyond all that.

2006-08-05T11:38:00.000-05:00

Why is it so difficult to keep jumping? One obstactle - ok, two - ok -- but when the stepping stones get higher and higher then even the little ones can feel like you need a cheering section and a vaulter's pole.

I'm getting rather tired of the blog-sphere. I'm trying to think of how we can do a rating system and an RSS feed like Daily KOS - only set up about the things that I want to read. Some days I might want to dig into politics and understand why the estate tax had to be tied into higher minimum wage in an "Up or Down" style vote. Some days, I really just want to read about someone's cat or a toddler being sweet. Even sillier - I wanted to skim someone's blog to see if I was mentioned. (Yay - I was! But no link :P)

Today, I did the "blog jump" where you just keep hitting next blog, next blog until you find something that you do want to read. I found a beautiful one where some woman was be-moaning about her step-son's drug problems. I would have loved to echo that with links to the proposals that I read about on BBC to make all prisoners do some type of re-hab and/or address learning/emotional problems. Maybe that woman would have liked some words of support - or just to know that someone heard her anonymous journalling. I would have liked to have lined up a nice little essay somehow about programs that work and programs that just warehouse people.

Or - maybe I'm just avoiding sitting in a noisy crowd again. I did it last night, and took pretty pictures (over to the right under the flicker thingy) - but all day... So far, I've run a dishwasher, picked up my house, started cleaning the kitchen, tossed back the clothes I planned to wear, and put in a load of laundry... When I found myself thinking seriously about baking something to take with me - I knew that I'd better do my nails and read for a bit to get ready to *GO*. *L*

Nails are done, comfy jeans are in the dryer (maybe I should shop for another couple of pairs of those?) . They'd go well with the platform heels, but then I'd have to do my toes too. I wore nice shoes last night and ended up walking a few laps of the park in 4 inch heels. Comfy shoes? Ick. Hiking. Ick... So much nicer to sit out on the patio with a cup of coffee and my knitting. I did get quite a bit of knitting done yesterday. 58 stitches in a section times 8 sections...464 total stitches around. How big should this thing be anyway? Maybe I should measure gauge and measure where it's going to live and see....

Ahhh, dishwasher's done, the coffee is about gone, daughter is showered and ready... So much for running out to pick some zucchini and make some bread to take with us. I'd get out the door, but I still have to pick the shoes. Hmmmm...

2006-08-04T19:51:00.000-05:00

The Dragon boat dragon meets Paul and Babe.

2006-08-04T19:46:00.000-05:00

It was spun when I started. That's ok. I did get a bunch of good pictures. The dragon boat thing is very cute, and many of the local companies did a great job putting together teams.

2006-08-04T12:38:00.000-05:00

Well, we're just about ready to head over to the Dragon Boat festival I want to go over before things get too crazy and take lots of pictures and video.

I did start a new project for next year's fair. Super Spiral from "A Gathering of Lace" by Meg Swanson. But, I'm cheap. I'm making it with $5 in yellow baby yarn. It is *SO* soft and pretty.

The story behind this shawl for me is really neat. I started a dark, shiny grey version of this 2 weeks before Katrina. It took me ages, but I did finish. I could barely look at it without thinking about people on the roof. I ended up getting into Project Linus and donating a bunch of the things that weren't completely loved. This year, the heat has been horrible. I'd bought yellow yarn for a 1/2 sweater/shawl thing, but they just didn't work. So, I got to thinking about honoring the sun, and started another spiral. I'm hoping that the warmth of this summer will carry over nicely when I'm wearing the shawl this winter.

2006-07-30T13:57:00.000-05:00

Well, I took a break from blogging to work on my things for the fair. It was harder than I thought to have everything "ready to be inspected". I mean, the things that I knit are to keep people warm and be snuggly - most of the time, they get worn/used before the tails are all tucked in! The worst was the world blanket that was being used before all of the strips were sewn together.

But, I did get a bunch "finished" and tagged very quickly, and were put in to be judged on Wednesday. It bothered me more than I thought to have someone really comment harshly. The good part is that I ended up being judged by someone whose opinion I do value. I screwed up my nerve on Friday to go see how I'd done. I got dinged badly for not having enough information on my cards, and dinged that the cheap yarn had allowed the tails to wander out. But, 2 blues and a bunch of reds (1st and 2nd) are pretty good for a first try. Left the camera in the car.

Went back Saturday to take pictures and got "Change the battery pack". ARRGGG The teenagers had used my camera to take band pictures and not swapped out the batteries! I know that I've bought at least 2 more 4-packs of rechargible batteries. Where do they run away to???

I'm supposed to go volunteer again at the fair, but it's melting hot. I'll see if I can get pictures when I do get with it and go...

2006-07-22T10:50:00.000-05:00

I'm loving and hating the new coffee pot. It didn't come with directions, so I felt like a monkey in an intelligence test using those 4 buttons to set up the timer. There isn't any "YOU WON" sound, or "GAME OVER" - unless you count the coffee starting to pee as "Nope, that isn't it." I did figure out that a tiny red light means that the coffee will turn on in the morning. Though, I'm still not clear on which combination made the red light come on.

I should probably start a "What I'm reading" section. I've enjoyed the ones I've looked at so far. Sometimes I'll agree, and sometimes "How is that a post?" Especially on Fark. If you are senstive, don't go look - but www.fark.com If nothing else, you'll feel really good every day that you don't let listed in there. There's the stupid criminals, stupid politicos, stupid businesses... People used to say that it'll be a good day if they don't read their obituary in the morning - in the blog world, it's a good day if I'm not on FARK.

Then again, there's boing boing. http://boingboing.net/ Sometimes they have really cool science, really bad art, or wicked knitting. Yet they do have a sense of humor and will skewer. It's always worth reading over.

I have some news services. BBC, Yahoo News, CNN... But the one that I enjoy and think about the most is http://www.newscientist.com/home.ns They'll cover neurology, design, archeology as it happens.

The rest of my RSS is Salon, Slate, Snopes and my Gmail. Exciting stuff...

2006-07-19T23:56:00.000-05:00

Alas and alack - My coffee pot died. There was no leak, no explosion - no drama at all. I did everything as normal for the last pot of the nice vanilla stuff and there was no click. Without my caffeine and that time of the morning, I just couldn't grok that there was no click. Click? Click? There's no clicky button and no orange light.

I checked the plug. I'm embarassed to say that I shook it a little and looked all over for some gremlin. Click? Click?

I tried Pepsi, but it didn't clear the fog. Click? Click?

White Grape Juice - very good for my poor allergic nose. But, still in that fog Click? Click??

I did finally wake enough to realize that I do own a French Press. Oh the creshendo of classical romantic music that should have swelled if my life had a good music track. The sound of the water running hot, and that spoon of coffee smell. Yet, I still had hope. Click? Click?

The coffee did kick in before the *IMPORTANT PHONE CALL*. You know that I was too busy to answer. Actually, I was helping a teen who and then I'd offered to take him to NA, AA, find him a mentor or counsellor or even find him someplace else to be until he could get a grip and then he So, this person isn't allowed anywhere near us anymore. You can try and try, but there comes a point when the drama is just too deep and the consequences too severe to clean up the mess. Sometimes that child with a rough life just has to stay in the rough until he's ready for a real hand up.

I did call back the *IMPORTANT PHONE CALL*. I'm glad that I did because Ms. "Too good to talk to me" did turn out to be a Med Student in two months and learned quite a bit from me. She didn't blink when I told her that the study was redundant (ohh, my kingdom for a spell checker on this!), and actually was glad that I shared her obsession with neurology. I'm glad that "just a parent" was able to find someone to listen and give good information so maybe some future children will have better care. I don't want to name drop and bash on a perfectly good hospital, but I will mention that parents aren't stupid people in general. You can't assume that "halo of education" around someone who has spent longer learning about this specific disability than you spent in your entire education and medical career. Ms "Doctor L" may make ten times my income, but I have far more time to read and research. My education is no less valuable for all it was spent on the other side of the fence, milling in the corral of "just parents of autistic children."

I did finally get a coffee maker. I've learned that Mr. Coffee sucks. More accurately, Mr. Coffee pees on my counter after a month or so of Minnesota hard water. So, Black and Decker for me. The old thermal carafe lasted quite a long time (Click? Click?) but isn't available in town. The new one is DE755B - the black, programmable jobbie without the thermal carafe. It's washy, washy and poury, poury so hopefully someone will hear *CLICK* and hopefully I'll wake up to the glorious smell of *COFFEE - EEE - EEEE*.

2006-07-18T14:10:00.000-05:00

Still haven't found the beads. But, at least the heat is over and we can get back out to the yard. It's been so dry that even the rhubarb has died! I've never seen a patch of rhubarb die off. I did get some zucchini, peas and peppers. This is the first year that it's been hot enough to get a good crop of peppers.

2006-07-17T12:15:00.000-05:00

Ok, this was a digital camera test - but this is the most recent picture of me that I like. My hair is short now. To explain the bathroom - I was making sure the camera was working before the teenagers at the Winter Formal saw that I had a camera. So, the test worked but I'm usually the one behind the camera!

2006-07-17T11:12:00.000-05:00

I'm playing with Picasa - putting up the pictures that frustrated me so much before. This is what homeschooling (unschooling) really looks like. No schedule for when he has to read those books on the far right of the picture. Just the checklist in that blue binder to check them off when he's done talking to the dog. I don't remember know what that conversation was about, but it was important to him. My favorite emo about this picture is that picture of a dog waiting for the schoolbus - well, Brock never has to wait for the schoolbus. He just waits until someone gets bored and plays with him. Mildred, the cat, has a better plan. She'll just sit on the book until she gets the warm spot and your attention. Ahhh, the homeschooler's pet's life!

2006-07-17T11:03:00.000-05:00

This is Will's Lopi sweater that I mentioned in a far earlier post. It was actually finished in 3/04. This is a heavy enough wool that he's worn it as a warm coat in winter and to go out and snowboard.

2006-07-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

It did take awhile - but I found the origional blog. In case you missed the drama, I started on a web page, moved to blogger, set up a blog on my own domain and lost the help file, so now I'm going back to blogger. If I can find an easy way to condense posts, then I'll put it all back together in one place.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Leo's band is working on refurbishing their "studio". At the moment, it still looks like a dairy barn that was converted into a clubhouse with a wood stove, restaurant booth, a phone and electric. He's lobbying to graffti the outside, but I like the traditional red and white barn as a background to flowers!

Niki is filling sketch book after sketch book. She has some very interesting characters and is working hard on improving her writing skills. She's been on Gaia quite a bit and has quite a network going. She was posting on deviantart, but I haven't seen her on there in quite awhile.

William is playing a new game - Chrome Hounds. So far, he's taken over the world twice. He's getting to be a scary little monkey! *L* He and his friend Chris W are just back from a trip to the cities that included Body Worlds and Valley Fair.

2004-03-12T20:06:00.000-06:00

Well, I'd better get back to the original reason for this blog. I'm typing as I listen to George Carlin on Bill Maher. Bill'd better figure out to shut UP and let George talk.

OHH - excellent quote, "If you've never encountered anything that offends you, then you're not living in a free society." Strangely, it came from the first female Prime Minister of Canada - and not George or Bill. The other guy's pretty good too. I think I'm going to have to read his book - without looking it up, it's about "What's happened to our language and music and why we should, like, care?"

original intent, my duh! I volunteered for a long road trip, so that I would be busy today. No, no knitting or crochet. But, I did get 2 orders for sweaters from a friend. It seems that she got a Lopi sweater ages ago, and they both wore it for a coat for ages! So, besides the 1 1/2 that I have to finish for Nikki and Leo - I have 2 more kids to knit for! YAY!

Personal growth? I hate to imagine what hours on the road and buying Crispy Creme did to my behind. How's that for Growth? No, really, I did to quite a bit of thinking about what someone suggested. That some people are just emotionally handicapped. Just like you can't expect a blind person to see something, there's just some people that can't meet anyone's needs - and expecting them too is just an exercise in frustration. So, what a person needs - they have to give to themselves. You can't get it from food, you can't get it from anywhere else but from yourself.

2004-03-12T19:33:00.000-06:00

So - Did he call? Will he call?

He called - by accident. Boy, that's a nasty feeling. Ever go thru the caller ID on your cell phone and get the wrong number? NO! I'm not that dumb!!

So. He said he'd call tomorrow (Saturday) so we could really talk.

Now, the issue is if I'm going to be Home tomorrow.

2004-03-11T11:46:00.000-06:00

Karma is chewing on my a$$ again.

Email listmates already know of my medical and financial stuff from last summer onward, but the basic overview is that my daughter's appendix burst, made a cyst and almost burst again (due to misdiagnosis of a bladder infection). I broke my finger just when I was knitting for pay. Then, after paying major ugly amounts of money to a dentist to get all my little issues cleaned up at the same time (oh, and my daughter's braces), I had a fixed tooth go bad again. 8 hour ER trip, Iv antibiotics and a little shot of painkiller (that I absolutely refused and was forced on me) that I turned out to be allergic to. I left the ER looking like someone had kicked the crap out of my face!! All better now cept for those bills that just keep rolling in.

Ready? This is unbelievable now. Wayy back when, an uncle divorced an aunt that I really liked. She happened to get an apartment near us later, so we stayed a bit close - but lost touch after that. Any-whoo. She called out of the blue almost 20 years later. That's all cool enough, and actually rather a good thing now that I am just looking at that part.

But, what she said... Apparently, she met my biological father in a bar, and they discussed me. He "seemed sincere" in wanting to get in touch with me, but didn't know if I wanted any contact. Skipping over some gory details, I haven't talked to him since I was 12.

Yay, right? Fireworks and glory, right? And the thousand fugly issues that are dredged out of the mud of my subconscious.

Work up my nerve, call him. No answer.

Call the cell phone. He said he was doing flooring at a friend's house. He said that he'd be back up in NY in April or May. But, I haven't lived in NY for 19 years, "I'm in Minnesota now". "I'm in Houston". (duh?, and?) Long pause "Ya, I was around there for basic training" "I didn't know you were in the military" (Lots of stuff you don't know) This is where my brain is refusing to remember, but he said something about being worried about his cell phone minutes, and he had unlimited weekends. (WTF?) Somehow the call closed and that was it.

That was it. About 2 minutes.

I'm left feeling rejected AGAIN. Rejected isn't even a good enough word for that - people who have contact with family just can't even understand the depth of that word. It's a special cold depth for those of us babies that were left by someone without explanation or understanding at that tender age. I've heard those words you're thinking, "You're better off not knowing someone like that" "You get to decide if you want to deal with that in your life." But, while those words make a nice logical little patch - there's still that booming echoing "WHYYYYY" that thunders thru dreams and colors interactions with all other people. "What is it about me that my father could just walk away forever?" Doesn't matter the real reasons, or the side streams of old arguments that I've pieced together. That infants echoing cry still wakes me up wondering and aching and cold.

Will he call this weekend? Life still wanders on thru schoolwork, dishes, and measured out by coffee spoons.

2004-03-08T14:26:00.000-06:00

Monday again... The schoolwork is done, the icicles are dripping madly. Restlessness is in the air...

I did get the website to work. So, the picture of the MY DESIGN sweater is available, and I hid a picture of the level of wierdness in my animals. A dog eating, the cat drinking out of his water bowl, and a chicken watching like he's ready to come over and start doing lunch with them.

I really want to get some funky pictures of the BFK (Big Fat Kitty-man). He's been thinking thoughts of breeding, but Mildred is still grouchy enough to knock the snot out of him whenever he tries for some. Poor BFK! I wonder why some animals just don't realize that they've been fixed.

In other news, I accomplished setting up 3 interviews for next week for the movie. I organized and printed a month's worth of check off sheets for our school schedule. And, I changed craft gears. The Lopi yarn is starting to make my hands hurt, so I'm going to crochet for a while. It's a nice European style filet curtain - houses and hearts for the big picture window. It won't hide anything, but it'll look nice from either side. Maybe once I see how the curtain holes work out, I'll design it to go on the regular size windows and finally make something for the strange shaped kitchen window. I also did quite a bit of laundry and actually ironed some stuff. Doesn't mean I'm anywhere close to seeing the bottom of the job, just that progress is good, and forward progress is better.

2004-03-06T12:31:00.000-06:00

So, besides the whining - what's up? I finished William's Lopi sweater (blue, red and black on medium blue), and I've started Nikki's. I finished the entire yoke and then decided that I didn't like it. FROG FROG FROG! (as in I ripped it out - rippit rippit is the sound a frog makes).

So, now it light and dark purple lines, increasing into a white band. Light purple pattern on the white band, then I'll do hearts or something Nikki-ish. It has to be a LARGE sweater, and the yoke patterns that I have are for kid's sweaters -- so there will be ALOT of design work here. (Now, I really want to put up pictures, so I can just SHOW the result. Wish I'd taken a picture before I ripped it out).

I feel like I should have some sort of introduction, but those who know me, know me. Those who know the site, they know me. And those who are just now meeting me are getting a horrid first impression. But, they can go read my "almost blog" and get to know me in mine own format. It's not a blog like it's meant now, but it's definately a record of where we've been and what we've done.

Now, it's getting on that time when kid don't want so much Mom, and Mom is clueless about where to go from here. I mean, I've sacrificed my early start to raise ungrateful morons - do I start over at minimum wage someplace or parlay all this research and big mouth into something? Do I sell my knitting or write? I'd like to write, but I keep going down bunny trails about personal life and feelings - and does anyone really want to hear me WHINE! I do it really well, I've had TONS of practice!

Should I immediately just hare off into homeschooling and autism and chin deep in double teenage angst, knowing that the third is coming up on his last innocent hug? (GAD, that's a horrid feeling - Which one will be his last hug? What night will be the last time that he tries to stay up and get Mom Time?) Nah - that's all too depressing. He's a sweet little 10 year old and I'm just going to pretend that I don't know that he'll turn 11, 12, 13 and testosterone poisoning. (Hey, this thing doesn't spell check! SH*T That's NOT FAIR!)

I still think I should start Camp LOCKEMINTHEBASEMENT. Parents like me would pay good money for a break from testosterone (is that spelled right? What a crock! I want my spell check! ah well, best guess will have to do) I mean - when they're bigger than you - how can you really ground them from the phone. Sneaky little bastages anyway. I've put passwords on the computer, but I really need to know how to unplug the hub without blowing stuff up. (Been there, done that - thank goodness it was only a fuse that blew!)

If they ever read this - I'm KIDDING!! Ok, I'm not. I already hid all the sharpies and the really ugly pants and sweatshirt. Parents of goth teens know the sharpie thing, but for the childless or clueless - the teens use sharpies for tattoos. They draw all over their skin and have "marker wars". Markers should really be banned in school until the teachers can reestablish some semblence of control. Cripe - if they did that in my homeschool, they'd be scrubbing walls until the house sparkled. I'm sure any reader will hear my bias and jump to defend teachers, but I'm coming around to what a job they really have. I know I couldn't handle a classroom! But, I'm getting my arm twisted to run for school board, so maybe I can make some changes from there.

Politics is a whole new thing that I never had the courage to do before. I still don't feel like I'm qualified or that I can do such a great job - but my arm is being twisted. The Green Party wants an in that isn't all about the nepotism. My friends just want my homeschooling, kid friendly voice in the decisions that come down. I think they also want me to do the work so they have a voice on the board. I don't mind that so much even tho the thought is annoying. Plus, the district has to pick a new superintendent, and I'd like to listen in on how that all is done. (Plus, I'd like to make sure that the major moron isn't the one chosen even tho he's politically popular. Yes, I have an axe to grind, but it's just one, and he is a major political hack with a proven record of ignoring children's needs. I know better than to say his name out loud - but I will say that it's the person that did enough psychological damage to kids to make 2 of them leave baseball for good.)

Hmm, is this enough rambling? Have I procrastinated the chores long enough? Ironing and dishwasher - what a thrill. If I get really ambitious, I might even boot the babies out. The babies? You want to hear about the babies? Well, we have a small, mostly organic flock of spoiled pet chickens. (Ok, exotic jungle fowl - they're still CHICKENS!) The 2 roosters had troubles, so we had a harem without a master. A friend from PaperDragon Farms sent us some of their boys - What a GREAT GIFT! I grok that they had to go so they wouldn't breed with their sisters, but still, when someone steps in and solves 2 problems via the US Postal Service - it's brilliant! So, in the middle of MN winter, I got a shipment of baby roosters. They had to live in the back room, and did many unspeakable things to my carpet - but they are still in the adorable stage. Getting less and less adorable as the poop piles get larger and larger.. But, it's fun. You can't imagine the feeling of seeing an animal, assuming it's a cat, but then it's a chicken looking for dropped food like the dog would. Now, if only the little buggers could be paper trained, it'd be just cute and not something that makes you jump and run to get them back onto cedar chips! *L* So, eventually, when we figure out how to breed and get some bird to sit long enough - we'll have more green eggs! Maybe even green eggs with brown speckles!! I think we agreed to name them Dragon Eggs, but that's counting eggs before their mom's even hatch out. The local natural food co-op sells certified organice eggs for over $2 a dozen - but i don't think we are certifiable until we can control the winter feed. So, it's to be semi-organic, and not a way to get rich. But, it's still very cute that the kids do stupid pet tricks and when the chickens come stampeding to get treats. Definately more fun than a compost pile for kitchen scraps, and they carry their nitrogen all over the yard, eating bugs.

Ok, I've definately procrastinated long enough. We'll see if I can get pictures to work and if I can remember to write every day. Nice to meet ya'll!

2004-03-06T12:29:00.000-06:00

Well, that didn't work so well. I went to put up the new pics and this doesn't do pic hosting.
Blah, Blah, *whine* So, I'll have to snapfish or something and link over there. I have my own domain so I didn't have to worry about all this - and now it's frogged. Blah!

2004-03-06T12:22:00.000-06:00

So, first day, new blog. I'd like a record of what I'm doing. Both in knitting, updating the site, and personal growth. Isn't that CHEESY? But, it's true. Plus, the site is giving me fits by not uploading the new pictures, so I'll try and do it here.